Humor via Lisa Colón DeLay

Posts tagged “Online Schools

Guest Humor post by a fake blog writer

YES. The first Guest post here, and you are sure to be disappointed, as much a I was when I read it.

The contributors for the blog, the dog ate my blog, are a group of writers who have a fake blog they use to market the business called “Guide to Online Schools“. This is a very helpful site for those who hope to print out a masters degree on their ink jet printer. It goes without saying that these same “online students” should realize they will be paid in Cash in their future employment. And by that I mean the kind of cash that can be printed from an ink jet printer, and can be used to purchase items and rental properties on a moon of Uranus.

So without further ado, I give you, “Andrew”, a blind, autistic, amputee, and farmer from Tuzla, Bosnia. Thanks, Andy.

Here’s the info about the fake blog from their About Page.

ABOUT PAGE:

My Dog Ate My Blog is the creation of editors, writers, and marketers in the education industry looking for an outlet for their general creativity and immaturity.

Our writers and contributors will be focusing on the categories of politics, technology, and pop culture, with an (almost) educational spin. If those topics don’t sound appealing to you, well, we’re at a loss. You are officially on the wrong blog. Fail. If, on the other hand, you’re excited by the prospect of veiled links to the education industry in the form of blog posts, you’re in for a treat (read: entertaining experience).So please check out our author bios, contact us if you feel like chatting, and comment on our posts. It makes us feel important.

Official sub-standard Submission From Guide to Online Schools’ fake blog:

What if God Was One of… Your Service Providers?

-by Andrew Hall

If someone commoditizes air, either they’re going to cash in very hard or we’re all in trouble; more than likely it’ll be a combination of the two. Unlike utilities such as power or water, which we can live without for at least a few days, even months, or source without necessarily getting them in our homes, we can’t get by without air. Period. Within minutes the body suffers irreversible damage and then suffocates, leading quickly to intense discomfort and then to death.

Here’s the tricky thing, though: air – and just about everything else – is already a commodity of sorts. God produces it for us and gives it to us daily, in some capacity, for far less than we could ever expect to pay for it. Though air quality varies around the world, the simple fact is that we get it, for the most part for free, from God, no matter where we live, who we are, or whether or not we, at the present moment, deserve to be given it. It doesn’t become unavailable when the growing season is unkind to it, there are no such things as air droughts, and yet our continued survival revolves around its continuing to be there, as otherwise we might drop dead.

Now imagine if we had to pay a regular fee in order to have sunlight in our lives (for the record, artificial tanning doesn’t count). We’d be forced to pay in order to get vitamins necessary to maintain our health, to grow food to feed ourselves and other animals, to be able to see outside without spending money on energy to power lights. We’d probably fall into some sort of all-consuming depression pretty quickly, a year-round seasonal affective disorder capable of crushing spirits and leaving us all with at least something to be unhappy about.

As a consequence, it’s increasingly apparent that if we were to suddenly be charged for everything we currently get for free from God we’d be in a bad situation, since we probably can’t afford it in the limitless quantities that we currently get it in and need it to survive. The moment we start budgeting our air and our sunlight is when we make a sacrifice beyond what our bodies are designed for, and one that we simply aren’t designed to make. Thus, there’s nothing to do but thank God for the free service we get every day.

Andrew Hall is a guest blogger for My Dog Ate My Blog and a writer on masters degree education for Guide to Online Schools.

fake photo of Andrew's Home Office