Humor via Lisa Colón DeLay

Author Archive

Finally a gift Christian Kids will REALLY like!

Yes. Attract the right kind of attention, because HS is so fun!

Wouldn’t your kids LOVE this for Christmas?

(A Christian group are promoting these shirts.)
God, help us.


English Sports and American Sports

Can you tell the difference?

One picture is of Rugby players. The other is Willie Colón of the Pittsburgh Steelers. (no relation)


Tom Brady: The Hair has Spoken

Maybe some of you saw the Patriots vs. Steelers game last night.

Tom Brady aka The Hair had a bunch of riled up words for his teammates, which made me realize in a deep and moving way that I really don’t like him. (More than before.) Way too much ‘tude!

THIS clip from the NFL pundits shows basic analyses of the game; and shows Brady’ hissy fit about halfway through. They call it “Leadership”. Um. Nope. That can’t be it exactly.

I would like to offer a correction: Tom Brady is a diva.

Dear Brady,
you should know that the Shrek franchise phoned, and they want the Charming character back on set.


The first one, isn't Brady, or is it?

Steeler fan or not, I am not Charmed, by him.

What are your thoughts on Brady?


87 second cartoon on this Whacky Wednesday

(Yes, I’ll keep my day job.)

 

 

today, I'm an underwhelming cartoonist

 

 


Guest Humor post by a fake blog writer

YES. The first Guest post here, and you are sure to be disappointed, as much a I was when I read it.

The contributors for the blog, the dog ate my blog, are a group of writers who have a fake blog they use to market the business called “Guide to Online Schools“. This is a very helpful site for those who hope to print out a masters degree on their ink jet printer. It goes without saying that these same “online students” should realize they will be paid in Cash in their future employment. And by that I mean the kind of cash that can be printed from an ink jet printer, and can be used to purchase items and rental properties on a moon of Uranus.

So without further ado, I give you, “Andrew”, a blind, autistic, amputee, and farmer from Tuzla, Bosnia. Thanks, Andy.

Here’s the info about the fake blog from their About Page.

ABOUT PAGE:

My Dog Ate My Blog is the creation of editors, writers, and marketers in the education industry looking for an outlet for their general creativity and immaturity.

Our writers and contributors will be focusing on the categories of politics, technology, and pop culture, with an (almost) educational spin. If those topics don’t sound appealing to you, well, we’re at a loss. You are officially on the wrong blog. Fail. If, on the other hand, you’re excited by the prospect of veiled links to the education industry in the form of blog posts, you’re in for a treat (read: entertaining experience).So please check out our author bios, contact us if you feel like chatting, and comment on our posts. It makes us feel important.

Official sub-standard Submission From Guide to Online Schools’ fake blog:

What if God Was One of… Your Service Providers?

-by Andrew Hall

If someone commoditizes air, either they’re going to cash in very hard or we’re all in trouble; more than likely it’ll be a combination of the two. Unlike utilities such as power or water, which we can live without for at least a few days, even months, or source without necessarily getting them in our homes, we can’t get by without air. Period. Within minutes the body suffers irreversible damage and then suffocates, leading quickly to intense discomfort and then to death.

Here’s the tricky thing, though: air – and just about everything else – is already a commodity of sorts. God produces it for us and gives it to us daily, in some capacity, for far less than we could ever expect to pay for it. Though air quality varies around the world, the simple fact is that we get it, for the most part for free, from God, no matter where we live, who we are, or whether or not we, at the present moment, deserve to be given it. It doesn’t become unavailable when the growing season is unkind to it, there are no such things as air droughts, and yet our continued survival revolves around its continuing to be there, as otherwise we might drop dead.

Now imagine if we had to pay a regular fee in order to have sunlight in our lives (for the record, artificial tanning doesn’t count). We’d be forced to pay in order to get vitamins necessary to maintain our health, to grow food to feed ourselves and other animals, to be able to see outside without spending money on energy to power lights. We’d probably fall into some sort of all-consuming depression pretty quickly, a year-round seasonal affective disorder capable of crushing spirits and leaving us all with at least something to be unhappy about.

As a consequence, it’s increasingly apparent that if we were to suddenly be charged for everything we currently get for free from God we’d be in a bad situation, since we probably can’t afford it in the limitless quantities that we currently get it in and need it to survive. The moment we start budgeting our air and our sunlight is when we make a sacrifice beyond what our bodies are designed for, and one that we simply aren’t designed to make. Thus, there’s nothing to do but thank God for the free service we get every day.

Andrew Hall is a guest blogger for My Dog Ate My Blog and a writer on masters degree education for Guide to Online Schools.

fake photo of Andrew's Home Office

 

 


Can Your Soul Fit into a Mailbox?

 

One of the most popular posts to date

 

Everyday a few people find this post I did involving mailboxes and the human soul.

Think: Mad Magazine meets COSMO, in a quiz mashup.

Have fun and enjoy it here.

That’s today’s Triple Dog Dare.


Top Gun in the Age of Innocence, or something

20 years later Top Gun will have a sequel.

The volleyball scene, which in the 1980s was super hot, now looks, to today’s audiences (including me) über gay!

Yes or No?

facebook video

remix:

Read the Kenny Loggins’ lyrics, and you’ll believe.

Playing with the Boys

from Top Gun volleyball game scene

I’d say it was the right time
To walk away
When dreaming takes you nowhere
It’s time to play
Bodies working overtime
Your money don’t matter
Time keeps ticking
Someone’s on my mind (on my mind)

I’m moving in slow motion
Feels so good
It’s a strange anticipation
Knock, knock, knocking on wood
Bodies working overtime
It’s Man against man
All that ever matters
Is baby who’s ahead in the game
Funny but it’s always the same

Playing, playing with the boys
Staying, playing with the boys
After chasing sunsets
One of life’s simple joys
Is playing with the boys

She said it was the wrong thing
For me to do
I said it’s just a boys’ game
That Girls play too
My heart is working overtime
In this kind of game
People get hurt
I’m thinkin that the people is me
If you want to find me, I’ll be

Playing, playing with the boys
Staying, playing with the boys
After chasing sunsets
One of life’s simple joys
…is the boys

I don’t want to be the moth around your fire
…with the boys
I don’t want to be obsessed by my desire
Your shining, Your smiling
I’ve seen enough
…with the boys
I’m staying here
You play too rough

Playing, playing with the boys
I’ll be staying, playing with the boys
After chasing sunsets
One of life’s simple joys
Is playing with the boys
Playing with the boys
Playing
Playing
Playing
Playing


Jenna = Miss Piggy

Miss Piggy

Image via Wikipedia

I had a eureka moment!

All the pieces fit into place. So, now I can tell you that knowingly, or unknowingly, the character

(notice my personal note to Tina Fey at the bottom)

 

Jenna” (played by Jane Krakowski) on 30 Rock is the “Miss Piggy” of the show.

Read that again slowly.

The fashion needs, the diva persona, the drama, the frequent delusional bursts. Video here. Oh, yeah. Busted!

Oh, and I think Tina Fey is sort of like the Kermit of the show. I said “sort of”.

Tina Fey! If you can hear me, please have a diva rivalry episode with Miss Piggy and Jenna.

…Oh, and I’d like to write for you. xox. You’re basically impossible to find out there on the interwebs, so google me, and call, k? Awesome.

 


So-called “Rape of Dinah” story as a lego scene. Just don’t do it.

The creator of the Brick Testament relies fully on a very poor…I repeat: A very poor translation of the Bible to be shocking. Don’t think I’d let my kiddos play at his house. um. ever. He enjoys constructing and photographing the most graphic and/or violent stories of the Bible.

Why? I’m actually hoping to interview him to hear it from him, but I’m guessing it’s probably just because he can. This type of building with legos is probably quite entertaining when you have an 11 year old type of brain, coupled with the heart of a bitter old man.

 

If you like to better understand this troubling passage click here:

 

 

FYI This tends to make a crappy sunday school story for kids.


MUST SEE: Grover does the Old Spice Ad

 

RESPONSES?